Author Archives: The Sarlacc

Thrill Seeking Food

How does the food come up with these activities? It is absolutely baffling that the species manage to thrive when every waking moment is spent in trying to come up with new and exciting ideas on how to more effectively … Continue reading

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A Test for the Food

I believe I have commented before on the curious suicidal tendencies of the food. One that caught my eye (and would have, thus, rendered me blind were I to have eyes and interprete this strange food language in a literal … Continue reading

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The Flavours of the Old Republic

With news a bit slow, I decided it was time to start introducing new features. Today, I present my first analysis of the food that can be found near my home: The Food Races. Now, you can see what the Sarlacc … Continue reading

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The Way of the Sarlacc

It is clear that I have become more food-like than I could have ever expected. That, by the way, is a ways away from being a compliment, it’s more wayward than the way one should behave. Metaphorically speaking. There has … Continue reading

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New Evidence of the Food’s Pack Behaviour

It was after today’s incidents that I realized my interactions with the food have made me capable of predicting their behaviour with astonishing accuracy. I had not come to grips with the fact… Speaking of which, grip is such an … Continue reading

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I + D: What the Food Can Learn from the Sarlacc

I have returned!  Having acquired replacement parts for this communications device, I am now back to share my daily trials and tribulations with the food. I expect this… thing to go up in a puff of smoke again, but that … Continue reading

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Accursed Puny Food Technology!

I was unsure wether to post about this or not, but I suppose that the mystery of my absence can only be intriguing for so long. You see, at first it was quite profitable. The food would wonder if the … Continue reading

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