Ah, what a wonderful day I’ve had today.
It had been several days since my last meal, that squeaky tart-flavoured sacrifice I enjoyed so much. Unfortunately it didn’t speak much, only blubbered endlessly without articulating a single word I could recognize. So boring. Somehow the rest of the food that threw it in was amused by it, so I kept the morsel in sight for a while until their mirth ended.
There’s something to be said for being magnanimous. They give me food, I give them some entertainment, and the universe is, thus, a better place.
But, as I said, that was several days ago. I hadn’t had even a tiny Jawa to quench my appetite, and I was getting cranky. Ah, it’s such a descriptive word.
Of course, I did not show how cranky I was. One has to be quiet and still in order not to scare the prey away. Maybe I have been getting too used to regular meals, a bit of fasting would probably do me good. I used to take the lean times well, before I learned this language.
Yes, I blame the food.
However, today I felt the vibrations of a small box coming, the food call them vehicles. As quickly and silently as I could, I extended my tentacles under the sand and waited. It was approaching slowly, so I had time. It felt as if it was going to pass close by, the food probably thought they were too far for me to reach. But I knew better.
One of them made a comment about the Sarlacc pit, and I felt several laughs. A full box of food, my tentacles almost quivered in excitement. I managed to restrain myself, lest the shaking revealed where they were hiding under the sand. And when they were close enough to my third tentacle, I quickly snapped and snatched at the air.
Yes, I did hit the box. I rarely miss nowadays, hundreds of years of practice do that.
I knew I didn’t have much time, I quickly searched with both my third and fourth tentacle, following the loud screams of the food, and managed to snag one while the others ran away. I counted four different ones. One out of four, I was a bit disappointed with my catching skills today.
The other food started calling for the one I caught. “Dad!” “Honey!” they called, which led me to believe the morsel I had was of certain importance in the group. Maybe…
“Stay away! Don’t come here!” He called.
Oh that was too many, he was scaring away my food! With decision, I pulled him to my beak to finish the meal, but I stopped due to its sudden discourse.
“Oh mighty Sarlacc, please have mercy! If I die here, my family will surely perish without my help! Please have mercy on my family!”
I stopped, intrigued. I was hungry, and it was food, what exactly was it expecting? I decided to educate it before I ate it. A pointless endeavour, perhaps, but I picked this habit from the sacrifice-offering food, they always tell all sorts of things to the food they give me before they do so. So, I raised another tentacle and with it, pointed down at my beak, snapping with it a couple of times. I am hungry, and you are food, do you understand?
Apparently it did, to my surprise and delight.
“Yes, almighty Sarlacc, I understand of your hunger. I am just begging for clemency in the face of your powerful appetite, not for me but for my family.”
Time passed slowly. The others called for this food, but it didn’t answer. It wasn’t squirming either, and not because of my paralysing tentacles – the food felt hard to the touch, so it obviously came in a shell. Finally, I made a decision and raised it to the lip of my hole.
“The almighty Sarlacc has forgiven me!” It cried, and several cries from the others responded in kind. “Oh thank you almighty Sarlacc, your generosity today will not be forgotten!”
The others had come running back and were giving me similar praises as they reached for their leader. I could hear all four of them crying, their voices reaching me clearly in the still hot air of the afternoon.
Did I feel good about myself? Exceedingly so. They were so distracted by this that they never saw the other tentacles I had buried in the sand around them.
So, today was a good day, I had a four course full meal. Life is good.